I travel in time
To sink ships of Columbus.
Glub glub glub, you dick.
No comments on Hi there, Christopher (haiku)
Category: writing
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I caught the slightest whiff of leather conditioner. My training took over: I jumped to the side without even thinking, barely avoiding the bullwhip’s supersonic strike. It echoed in the dim and silent hallway.
I landed like a cat, my heart racing, my eyes taking in every tactical detail, my hands clutching the expandable batons.
I scowled at the intruder. “Sharyo… I knew we’d meet again.”
He smirked, pacing toward me. The two pairs of handcuffs on his belt gleamed in fluorescent light.
“Subject 119B. I’ve spent nineteen years searching the world for you.”
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My biggest tip for writers who have no editors (I too am one such writer) is to always read your final draft out loud. Not in your head, not with a quiet whisper, but OUT LOUD – accept no substitutes!
That’s the best way of identifying the clunky turn of phrase or an awkward sentence (or, even worse, shoddy dialogue) in your own work. This is something I always do at the final stage of my writing (e.g., with this week’s story that’s pretty much finished) and I always find at least one wrinkle to smooth out. (Usually, many such wrinkles.)
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After submitting my stories to so many magazines, I’ve noticed something interesting: I have almost no stories in the 3,000-6,000 word range. (Some of those magazines are verrrry specific!)
My comfort level when writing is somewhere between 1,200-2,500 words, and though I can inflate the word count through more descriptors and dialogue and random asides, it still barely ever reaches that range. Something to think about as I plan my future stories…
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I’m currently working (slowly but surely!) on organizing and prettying up the first draft of my third novel, and I love it.
My very first novel did not find a lot of enthusiasm among agents, despite the public’s ceaseless enthusiasm for time travel. Ah well. I started writing it as the ultimate exercise in escapism back in 2015, during my workaholic years. With lots (and I mean lots) of delays and procrastination, I didn’t actually finish it till August 2023. I’m in the process of submitting it to small presses that don’t require agents, as well as planting seeds of my novel’s narrative universe in multiple short stories that I sell to magazines. (I call it… the Lilyverse! (Well, almost. Not quite.))
My second novel is currently on sub with several publishers: that was the one that got me my very own literary agent, and it was based loosely on my rather strange childhood in a very strange country… Only with far more science fiction elements. Publishing is a very slow industry, with a lot of its procedures and customs still stuck in the 19th century and not at all adapted to the 21st. So it goes.
And the third novel, the one I’m working on now, combines two of my biggest hobby horses: aliens and anthropology. It has two alternating points of view, as well as many interludes politely poached (with acknowledgments and citations and all) from real-life news agencies, magazines, and academic papers. (And needless to say, researched with my own human brain. To hell with the sloppers who use AI for that, be they hobbyists or A-listers.)
Honestly, to me these non-fiction interludes are the most fun part of the entire process. Each of my novels blends fact and fiction, taking the weirdest parts of our consensus reality (so weird that they don’t seem true) and providing wild, out-of-the-blue explanations for them (so wild that they might just be true!).
In another life, I may have pursued my academic journey beyond a simple BA degree. But alas, there was an incident involving a very old, very tenured professor during a mandatory capstone course shortly before a big election… If I hadn’t been so naive at that age, I could have sued that entire university and paid off my student loans — and then some. But I wasn’t, so I didn’t, so here I am, toying with data and having altogether too much fun by exploring so many wild and different viewpoints.
I’d prepared and sorted most of that reference material months ago, when I had more time for sporadic research than for actual writing, though I believe just about anything can count as writing. And now, after finishing the actual narrative part of my first draft, I finally get to play with all those fun little excerpts, combining them to amplify the plot, to make my future readers wonder, “Wait, what? How? Huh… So, what if…”
To me, that is the best part of the process. I’ll miss it dearly once it’s done.
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“It really does look like a mushroom,” I gasp in wonder at the ever-growing cloud. In that final moment before the shockwave obliterates my body, I think of childhood forest trips with my parents, and I smile.
(Inspired by a quick mental tangent on mushrooms while brainstorming an altogether weekly different story.) Copyright 2026, all rights reserved, etc, etc.)
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I enjoy writing. It had started as a tentative hobby at first, quite a few years ago. Gradually, slowly, in fits and starts, my skills have grown. I won’t be winning any Pulitzers anytime soon, but I do make a sale every once in a while. Here are my latest publications:
“Those Who Dare” in Gavagai is my first-ever pro sale, and one I’m quite proud of. It combines hard science fiction with the rather soft science of abnormal psychology. This 944-word story contemplates extreme adventurers and desperados, and it’s written in what I call the “zigzag whiplash” style. I hope you enjoy it!
Similarly, “To the Stars!” – a poem published in Star*Line #49.2 – posits a simple question: what if today’s billionaires got their hands on the warp drive technology? What rallying cry would they use?
…and now, I’m off on another adventure. Internet access is not guaranteed, so stay safe out there, my friends.
Until later,
L.
